Back to myself again! yeah! ^o^

こんにちは..!!! Konnichiwa, minna-san..!! How’s your day this monday..? is it pretty exciting..? or is it pretty boring….? or is it pretty irritating..?.
As for me, I think today is.. umm.. pretty.. freezing.. I think I just got myself a little fever.. great!! last night I had cough, & now..? the ultimate pair of it.. yes! fever.. Burning eyes.. Freezing skin.. & dizziness.. hiks.. I think I better put on my jacket now, the AC really freezes me down now..

So.. What am I to do here..? Whatever I wish to do!! NyuAhahaha.. I own myself! No one can drive myself to become something I’m not.. No.. Not ever again.. I’ve been fooled once, by that devilish man,who thinks as the rightfull person of everything.. well,guess what? Na’a!! I’m through with you! I am soooo… over you! O-yeah! You just got dumped! trashed! kicked! *metaphorically* nyiiihihihihi… eventhough I’m a widow now, but.. well, so what? I still have my own dreams to catch.. I still have all the people who still loves me (there’s even someone who loves me more than I love myself  ) & I still have people which I can help.. yes, of course I couldn’t save / help everyone, but at least, now, I can start my own way to help people.. in a way that I could not do before. Before this, I got stuck in a situation where I have to (more as a “must”) drive myself to someone else, who I must surrender myself to that person.. *sigh* come to think of it, I was sooo.. helpless back then.. so numb..  no spirit to fight back.. only a feeling that I’m gonna fall into a deeper bottom of the darkness hole.. *oops, I guess I’m a little over-describing about this*

But now, just now, when I open my old site, where I put all of my cute & funny emoticons, long time ago, my twin said to me “how come you never use those icons again?” that knocked my head a little.. wew.. he’s right.. how come I never use them again..? I love all of those emoticons.. ‘coz I am an expressive person.. I like cute things to be expressively.
Then again, I had the answer, just like what I already said on above.. ironically..

but hey! that’s not gonna happen again! my twin helped me gain my own self back.. everything, my spirit, my passion, my cheerful-self, even my heart.. he helped me save it.. he.. saved me.. Again, thank you.. my words will never be enough,huh..? 1 full box of home-made takoyaki, would that be enough? wkwkwkwk..

Ha.. Haa…. Haaa… Tcchoooo…..!!!! buuhuhuhu… I hate being sick like this. when I’m ill, I’m less power, less cheerfullness, less ability to be myself.. hiks.. oh please Allah, help me gain my health back..
& also, please Allah, help my twin on his tasks & presentation today.. I Love you, dear Almighty Allah.. You’re the one who made this beautiful destiny.. shame on me that I used to blame on You, while the true blame should be on me.. ‘Coz all You ever do is helping me, guiding me, to find my self a twin, to made myself born in such a mess family *hahahaha, ironically laugh*, so I can gain myself true lessons of life..
again, Thank You…!!

for all of you, who read this, get a hold of yourself!! Don’t let anything pushes you around, to force you become anything you’re not.. just be yourself, coz you own it.. be the best of yourself.. never hold it under.. coz the one who knows your best, is.. yourself..
Ganbatteee..!!!

Have a nice day everyone!!

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October 2010
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